MandyLicious <3

Just incase you need another reason not to eat at Mcdonalds check out the chicken sandwhich I bought tonight. I got home and tried to bite into it and couldnt because the bread was so hard then, I opened it and almost threw up. I took it back to the store and gave them a piece of my mind and I also emailed the company and now im going to post it all over the place. HOW FKIN NASTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

notice the rotten tomato, brown lettuce and hardened yellow mayonaise

soggy chicken...wtf?


sorry, I know.....gross huh?

well shes not too much of a baby anymore as you will see!!

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v398/m4ndy/alyssabeth%20barbara%20smith/10-21-2007/

change is in the air....grrr not again.
i can handle it because im strong and honestly i feel at peace with the whole situation. my husband left on sunday, hes back to his 2nd home in the wonderful sandy landscapes of Iraq. His year "visit" to the US was a short one and went by entirely too fast. A lot of wonderful things happened this year. We bought our first home, our first nice car, bought nice furniture...blah blah blah...now we are in debt and it sucks but at least they try to compensate the absence of my husband with a little extra money (thanks assholes). so by the time he comes home in 15 to 18 months we will be caught up and all good. i wish that our troops would pull out of there. it makes me sick to think that the men and ,shit some of them are just kids, that i know are over there for this complete bullshit. we cant even fully rebuild new orleans or give people the health care that they need or feed hungry children in our own damn country but we can send all our money and all our men over there to make their country work. yeah that makes a lot of sence. call me crazy but i come from a military family, my grandfather is a 20yr retired warrant officer who went to Vietnam twice. in those days the moto was if it moves shot it and yes a lot of innocent people died but now a days if our boys kill someone who could have possibly been a threat they can go to jail. its insane!!! my husband is in kuwait right now playing video games and working out....it hardly sounds to me like more troops re needed. its a ghost town here again with lots of sad military wives and we are all proud of our men but completly fed up with this shit. for some of them this is their fourth and firth tour. so as my husband told me today, its back to our phone marriage...which works i guess. i love him and i know in my heart that he'll be comming home to me soon. for now its time to maintain my life with my daughter who is the most amazing little person i have ever met. and spend a lot of time with my friends. they are my rock and i thank god that i have such a good support system. well thats about all i have to say. life is all good but half my heart is in iraq and i miss him terrably.

I have seen one of the best movies that I have witnessed in a very long time. I love war movies and Im a huge fan of stories to do with Greek mythology, theirs gods and their heros. From the moment that I saw the trailer, I couldnt wait for this movie to come out in theaters and from the moment they started selling tickets, I bought them for the first night. When the movie was over, everyone stood up and clapped and I wanted to stay and watch it again. I think my husband and I are actually going to see it again this weekend. This movie has to be seen in the theater, no home theater set up in the world would give it the same justice.

Thank you Morgan for reminding me that I have a livejournal! I had completely forgotten. For the first time it seems as though I am too busy and have become almost totally disconnected from my computer. Although I don’t communicate with anyone who reads this (except for Morgan), I still consider all of you my friends. I have spent the last hour reading everyone’s posts and oh my god how things have changed! It is so nice to sit back and consider the lives of people who I used to feel so close to. Sometimes I wish that I had taken a different path, one that enabled me to stay closer to some of you. The older I get the more I seem to miss my old friends and really evaluate the friends I have now. I know what really plagues me is the need to have fun again like I had when there were no responsibilities. Now it seems like life is always in the way of having fun when I wish it could be the other way around or even an in-between to settle with. I am not as happy right now as Id like to be and know I can be. I have a beautiful daughter, an awesome new car and a bad ass new house but I can’t help but feel lost sometimes. A lot of it has to do with there just not being anything interesting going on where I live. Some of it is the friends I have. They are so damn domesticated!!!! Mostly, it’s my husband. I love the man to death but how in the hell did I think I was going to handle a military man? I am a ball of emotions and for my world to be in balance I must express those emotions. He has been taught not only to express no emotion but honestly to not feel them either. He has been to Iraq twice and scheduled to go again in August. That right there is enough to make a man crazy much less maintain his relationship with a woman and child. Everyday of this marriage is a constant struggle to understand each other and not let the little things be so damn irritating. He will HOPEFULLY be done with the army at the end of 2008. I know once he gets out of this environment that our lives will do a complete 180. I get discouraged sometimes, but I’m not ready to give up on him just yet. The bottom line is we love each other and our daughter so much that we will work our asses off and one day be great. Having a family is such a beautiful thing. You work so hard and feel so overwhelmed but at the end of the day the scene of accomplishment and never ending love is more rewarding than anything in this world. So, I guess I am just bored. My life is not all that bad!!!! Breathing on the other hand is an issue. I just had sinus surgery on Feb. 20th and as I am recovering more and more each day it’s getting harder and harder to use my nose to breath. hummmmmm what the fuck?! I have gone through child birth and a boob job (yup I sure did)...but this surgery has been the most painful and annoying and I am convinced it made things worse...lol greattttttt!!! Ok well, I think this is a good update so that is all. HALLELUJAH HOLLA BACK

i love white people!!!!

so i hate the fucking army.
my husband wont be home now until thursday.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

:(

OH MAN OH MAN
MY HUSBAND WILL BE HOME FROM IRAQ
ON SSSUUUNNNDDDAAAYYY!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM SO EXCTIED!!!
I WANT TO TELL THE WORLD.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.


that is all, thank you have a nice day!!!

AHHHH!@$%@#$@# YAY :D

its almost over.
just 2 and 1/2 months left.
i wish i could sleep until september.
i miss my husband more and more everyday,
thankfully the days are going by faster.
i have had a hard time sleeping since he has been gone
and for some reason its getting worse,
maybe because im so anxious.

this summer has gotten off to a good start.
ive had a great time camping with my friends
and spending time on the lake.
my trip to texas was nice but it could have been better.
my mother took my daughter to visit for almost 3 weeks...
it was nice to have a little break and it definatly made me more
tolerant of her.
she just turned 1 last month and i love this age.
she is learning so many new things everyday and i can
literally see her soaking it all up.
she mocks everything i do including talking on the phone.
she puts my cell phone up to her little ear and just talks away.
sometimes it sounds like she speaks chinese.

sigh.....its alomst quitting time here at the law office of worth lovett and although its nice to get off work, i dread going home to an empty house. oh well, i am strong, theres not much time left, and i will make it. i will pick up alyssa and we'll go home and take a nap, make some dinner, then go hang out at nikki's......
*its almost over, its almost over, its almost over* siiiiiiiigh.


here are some new pictures of alyssa....

i miss my husband. :(

here are some recent pictures of Alyssa. she is 10 months old now and getting so big! shes a little porker!!!

I never update this thing anymore but I feel like bitching and there’s no one to bitch at so livejournal will be my outlet for now. I have had a horrible morning and this seems to be a reoccurring event lately. My daughter started her new day care this morning and we have already gotten off to a bad start. It has been pouring rain all morning so on the way to the car we got soaked. Then I manage to spill my pepsi all over myself so I had to turn around and change my shirt, getting soaked again in the process. We were supposed to be at day care at 10:30 and didn’t make it there until almost 11:30. This of course made the daycare lady upset b/c all the kids are supposed to take a nap at the same time and Alyssa is off schedule. For 100 dollars a week she needs to shut up and deal with it. Oh and this morning 2 HUGE speakers are delivered to my house that my husband ordered off ebay for like $600. First off why the hell does he need $600 dollar speakers when he’s in Iraq and second I don’t know where he expects to put these monster things. Up his ass sounds good to me! I am just annoyed because being a single parent is hard as hell and when I don’t have family around that is willing to take a small amount of time and effort to help out a little, it kind of sucks. I have a lot of family here and the only person who helps is my Aunt Deloris, thank god for that woman! For the rest of them, they can suck a fat one! There are 5 to 6 months left until my husband comes home and I know ill be ok and things will ease up on me a little when he returns. In the mean time im going crazy!!!!!! End Rant. Thank you, have a nice day! :)

Alyssa and Mommy..

look at those big eyes!!!

I can crawl!!!

I am such a happy baby!!!

Christmas Eve can get hectic we needed a nap!

Alyssa and Daddy...

and again.

putting the star on the tree.

first bath in the big girl tub!!!

Alyssa and cousins.

I know that 2005 officially ended 5 days ago, but for me today is the day when its time to start over. This is so because my "holiday" is now over. My husband had been home from Iraq on leave for almost 3 weeks. As the saying goes, all good things come to an end. You know how you always wish for that one more day? Well I got my one more day and it made all the difference in the world. He was supposed to leave yesterday but after we said our tearful good byes and I headed home, I got a call from him to come back because his flight had been rescheduled for today. I don’t know if it was the sadness of leaving each other or the gift of one more day that made yesterday so amazing, but I am so thankfully that I got to spend one more night in his arms and say things that were on the tip of my tongue but could not say in those moments before we parted. It was very hard to leave him again today but with my tears also came a feeling of peace in knowing that we are stronger than ever and our love will make it through this.

I am so glad that he was able to come home and spend the holidays with me and Alyssa. We had a wonderful Christmas with family. Alyssa made out, she got so many toys! New Years was nice as well. We had a few friends over for a cook out, some drinks, and fire works. I didn’t want to go out this year and staying in worked out very well.

Before Phil came home Alyssa and I made a trip to Houston. It was a bitter sweet visit; I had a great time but did not want to come back here. It made me realize how much easier my life would be if I lived closer to my mother. Right now I don’t have any help with the baby so I have no life. It was so nice to be able to hang out with friends and not worry about Alyssa.

It’s almost time to get off work and for the first time today I really feel like breaking down and crying. I have been pretty strong all day (besides over course this morning when I dropped Phil off) but I just realized that when I go home he wont be there waiting for me. Coming home to an empty silent house seems to be the hardest thing for me. Waking up alone on the weekends is also very hard. I try to keep myself as busy as possible but keeping busy and trying to save money doesn’t seem to go hand in hand. What little friends I do have here all work on the weekends so that sucks.

I know that I will be ok in about a week. I just need some time to re-adjust to my abnormal life. The past few months have flown by because I had so many things going on and so many things to look forward to. I have 9 more months left before my husband comes home for good so until then I will be waiting to be whole again.

"Together forever and Never apart, Maybe by distance but Never by Heart”

i dont have anyones number so call me!!! 931-320-1629

so cute! :D

i cant believe that my baby girl is 6 months old!!!

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't
speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can
be anything you want- good or bad. When you're finished, post this
little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or moritified) about
what people remember about you.

i will be in houston from december the 2nd through the 12th. i just got my ticket, WhOoP!!! the baby will be comming with me so we are looking foward to seeing everyone!

this is for you julie!! :)







OH i TOTALLY forgot to upload our new family pictures!!







and this is for christopher..*mwa*

i never seem to have time to update this thing. mostly because i dont really talk to anyone on my list so i dont know if any of you give a damn whats going on in my life. eh, oh well heres an update for that ass. life is just damn peachy. my husband has been in iraq for over a month now. i have taken my daughter to the ER twice in the past two weeks. im about to lose my mind but beside that everything is great. my daughter has been sick ever since i put her in day care. first she had a mild case of broncitus and now she has thrush. fucking thrush! that is so sick. her little mouth is all white inside and it hurts her so bad. we went to the ER tonight and waited for 5 hours to be seen which makes a total of 3 visits to the ER. the first time was in august and it was really bad because she had a unirary tract infection, we ended up staying in the hospital for a week. being a mother is so hard, it breaks my heart to see her screaming as the doctors try to get blood from her tiny arm. it breaks my heart everytime she crys no matter whats wrong with her and its always a guessing game. i have been trying to make her sleep in her crib by herself but its so hard to hear her crying herself to sleep. its something that has to be done though because it will be harder to accomplish when shes a little older. everything is a little harder for me right now since my husband is gone. i miss him so much that it hurts. before he left we were having some problems. probably from the stress of knowing hed be gone for so long. now that its been over a month both of us wish that we could have gone into this on better terms. there is good news though, he gets to come home for two weeks during christmas. we are planning to spend a few days alone in this little town called gatlinburg, its in the moutains and they have really nice cabins. it will be a much needed mini vacation. hummm well, i guess thats about it. thank you and good night.

My husband left for Iraq on Saturday and although I'm handling it rather well, its still very hard. I miss him so much already but I'm keeping myself very busy in hopes that the next year will go by faster. His Sargants wife and her baby are staying with me for the moment. She moved back home to Louisiana with her mom before our husbands deployed and came back up here to see them off. Since then Rita came through and theres no power at her moms house and a shortage of gas, so shes going to stay here until everything gets back to normal down there. We are talking about her just staying here the whole time, which would be awsome. I didnt really know her very well until she needed a place to stay but having someone around that is going through the exact same thing that I am helps so very much. Her baby is a month younger that Alyssa. If she stays shes going to watch the babies while I work so that I dont have to put Alyssa in day care, plus that covers rent.
I dont really think its totally hit me yet that Phils not comming back in a few weeks. Hes not just in the field doing some training, hes really gone. Far far away and he wont be back for a really long time. *sigh*. Oh well, I just pray that he will be safe and come home to me in one piece. Honestly, I'm just glad that this is finally under way. The waiting and stressing before he left was killing me and our relationship. Now that hes gone its just a matter of time before he comes home and we can put all this behind us. He better not re-enlist while hes over there because if he comes home alive ill kill him! I dont want to be an army wife forever and deal with this crazy shit.
Well, I'm off to play with Alyssa. Everyone please pray for our troops and God speed them home safe.


These are some pictures that we took before Daddy left.